flabulous

Melanie meets Margaret

From Melanie:

Yo, darlins—

Last night in Portland, at the Schnitz, Margaret Cho came to rock the Northwest. Before the show, I headed backstage with my Power-Dyke™ friend Marty Davis (no relation).

I walked into the dressing room, and I saw a women from the side, sitting with excellent posture, munching on some veggie fare. When I encountered this strikingly beautiful Korean diva, I felt compelled to say, "Margaret Cho! I love you! I want to carry your first child!" And then I froze: what if it wasn't Margaret, and she snaps "What, do you assume I'm Margaret just because I'm Asian!" and freaks out, screaming "RACIST!!!" and calls security like the DMV lady in her Gwen skit?

And then I thought, maybe she'll just assume I'm fashionista Melanie Love because I'm a hot Latina Lesbian with Portland's most prominent dyke at my side? Then I got over myself [for a second].

What would anyone do encountering a drop-dead woman that you want to carry children for? Offer them jewels, of course. Out came my gift for her: a double-strand freshwater pearl choker, studded with Swarovski crystals with a 12-inch lead and a 16mm Swarovski hexagon at the bottom—and matching earrings, of course.

She loved 'em! I thanked her for raising awareness of body dysmorphia issues and bringing fun and laughter to the ridiculousness of American politics. She told me to MySpace her, and rattled off a few e-mail addresses. I promised her the moon and stars: my baby-makin' plans are well on their way.

I melted, then went to take my seat.

---
MJ's mini-review:

Margaret's show was amazing. She, of course, brought tears to people's eyes with her vagina-spelunking stories (complete with stories of a G-spot injection) and revelations surrounding her sexuality ("I'm not Bi, I'm I—I'm into people who are into me!").

Margaret is one of the pioneers of open, laughter-filled conversations about body image and the ridiculousness of mainstream culture's obsession with 5'5" blond-haired, blue-eyed folk. Stay tuned for a lengthier review later-on!

Fat people have better sex. Deal.

Whose booty's gettin' it?

Fat women are twice as likely to enjoy sex and to reach ORGASM, compared to thin women, according to a survey conducted by Weight Watchers Magazine. (A full 85 percent of fat women surveyed said they enjoy sex, compared to only 40-45 percent of thin women who said they did. And 70 percent of fat women said they almost always have orgasms, compared to just 29 percent of thin women.) Fat women were also twice as likely to be happy with their partners and their relationships. Three-fourths of the fat women surveyed said their partners found them attractive at their present.

Found in FAT!SO?: Because you don't have to apologize for your size! by Marilyn Wann

- MJ & Melanie

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